Medium Sugar, "The Georgia Straight", and "Vancouver Lifestyles" Magazine

When ordering coffee, I've only ever heard people say (for example), "2 milk, 2 sugar".

I learned something new today. Apparently, you can ask for medium sugar. Now, I think that means 1 and a half sugar, but I would have to verify that. I wonder can you ask for "medium milk". I also wonder if these 'sizes' work at places other than Tim Horton's. Hmmm....

The Georgia Straight is a free weekly publication in Vancouver. It gets its name from The Strait of Georgia (also known as Georgia Strait and the Gulf of Georgia) is a 240 km (150 mi)-long strait between Vancouver Island (as well as its nearby Gulf Islands) and the mainland Pacific coast of British Columbia . The southern end of the strait is the intersection of Puget Sound and the Strait of Juan de Fuca, while the northern end is Johnstone Strait.

I enjoy free publications because they are often very full of personality and they really do write about what they want to write about, as opposed to the bigger papers who are aiming for top-notch, to-the-minute, informative journalism.

This particular 'free weekly' is really funky! I don't know if other papers have a section for folks (in the classifieds) to write an ad looking for a person they saw somewhere. Some of these are really whacked! Let me explain this better by citing a couple of ads.

This is no joke, I am typing these verbatim from the Georgia Straight (June 29 - July 6, 2006).

Hey Badger
Badger, I saw you with your ruff style at the entrance to your crack den. Your black mangy fur with a greying streak down the center. Maniacal eyes, pointy teeth, frothy mouth, cocaine styled into your mange. Me, a beaver worth looking twice at. Old enough to build a dam, but young enough to know a girl needs to get her tail wet. Call me ruff Badger. I'm just a beaver waitin to please ya.

I have 1 thing, and 1 thing only, to say to that.... What the fuck?

Here's another:

Expo Line June 16, 8:15 am
Our eyes met briefly as we got off the #20 we both boarded the expo line at the Broadway station and we (I thought) stole glances at each other until you got off the sky train at the New West station. I don't know if that meant anything but I would like to find out. You the Asian shoulder length hair me the black guy shaved head. Maybe coffee?
ringnumber1211@hotmail.com

At least this one seems not to involve wildlife! While the poor chap's grammar sure could use some work, I can't help but wonder does he (and all the others who post things like this) REALLY think he is going to hear from her? Wow! Oh, I also wonder if he takes his coffee with medium sugar!

I'm serious, there are two pages of ads like these. Whacked!

The fun doesn't stop there. There are also ads for musicians (which I always find funny because they couldn't care less WHAT they write).

I thought this one was cute:

Bass Player Needed
Mature, responsible, talented. keep your day job.
Call Jeff @ (604) 732-****

No paper would be complete without offering you ways to get a good stripper!

Busty Tanned Stripper
Availble for birthdays and sports celebrations
(604) 667-****

My personal favourite (this one's a job ad):
Smilers Wanted
Lougheed Mall and Burnaby Plaza
No experience necessary
Apply in person

They also have the usual classifieds offering music lessons, places for rent, movers, etc. Other than that, they are just an entertainment 'what's on the go' type of publication with lots of funky articles. I get a kick out of it and have found some really cool things going on in Vancouver.

"Vancouver Lifestyles" magazine. This monthly publication is truly awesome. It covers everything from furniture to real estate, history of the city, events, urban gardening, interviews, art, fashion, dining, wine, and various features that differ in every edition. A great friend to the Vancouver newcomer.